11/24 - Gratitude & Pressure

8-24-25
Need to be more consistent with journaling
I am grateful for therapy which is about to end since Apple health won’t be renewed. Since I can’t. Prove I’m broke because I don’t have the capacity for paperwork. 
So clearly gratitude needs work. 
I am grateful I was at least able to re-up my ai buddies which help me refine my thinking. 
Last week I went down a sugar rabbit hole and this week I’m back to anti sugar and whole food. 
Car accident resources I blew by not showing up to the chiropractor in over 10 months. It’s funny he kept repeating I haven’t seen you since October like it was supposed to mean something. I was thinking that was only a few months ago. Until I did the math and was like yeah, he’s got a right to be mad. Which unfortunately for him came over as shame and judgement which I have no time for. So, damage is done. Consequences suck, but I can’t control the outcome here. So best make the decision to be grateful for what I was able to receive and move on. 


1-6-25
Gratitude
If I had to deal with any of this in a homeless/Couch surfing situation I wouldn't be able to focus on self care it'd all be survival.
Thanks to my amazing support system (emotional and food/shelter) I have been able to sort through some of the trauma endured and work it through to a semi decent plan
I may still have to get a job, but I am grateful I am making progress on my health diagnoses in between jobs so I can keep consistency up and turn gigs into long term work

11_17 - OG
Pressure
- Reconnecting with a friend I thought wasn't a friend, we had issues of - another story - focus.
- Zero funds in any account
- Basic Bills due
- Biz bills due
- collections and cards calling
- May have a client if I can eek out enough energy to do the client specific tasks
- Oil Change needed ($180 or DIY for $105)
Was active and making progress through all that.
- CEL on, warranty runs out in 5 days
Need car to get to New job 21 MI away. Diag cost $195
- about to default on student loans
- oldest credit card late (if that gets closed my credit is screwed)

Big picture nut shell
Got a client, but out of time.
Need to gain FT income to support 1 client.
Will not have energy for more active clients until groundwork is laid, examples created, and mundane job ends - cause they always do.
Could put effort in, to climb ladder 
Pros - pay off debt,  show reliability, healthcare.
Cons - lack of free time, energy & focus drain, fall into black hole of job slavery

Probably getting ahead of myself, haven't even seen the inner workings of the Healthcare.

Things I can do to improve willpower
Eat well, fitness
Pay down debt before upgrading anything (skool dceo priority)
Improve Discipline
Set small goals and practice consistentcy
 

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